The first step in keeping your head above water in such dire circumstances is to steer clear of the Living Dead whenever possible. Let me emphasize that confrontations are never ideal situations. However, during these desperate times, it can become difficult for our panicked human minds to distinguish between the true Zombie race and its living, breathing impersonators (yes, astonishingly, some people are actually fascinated by and, apparently attracted to these abominations). The first portion of this webpage will aid you in making these judgments.
First and foremost is common sense. Obviously, real zombies will display the following traits: a disheveled appearance; unresponsive to communication; pale, often clammy or decomposing skin; no concept of personal boundaries; and a motivation to eat the brains of the living [¹]. For those "healthy" individuals who enjoy mimicking these zombie traits, a bit more of a discerning eye is necessary. Observe the women pictured to the right; these are merely three of many pure, sound-of-mind (to an extent) human beings about to participate in a public "Zombie Crawl." Research and critics indicate that true, in-the-flesh zombies are not merely piles of reanimated organs--they are walking symbols of societal, political, and cognitive conflicts. In the midst of the following political themes there is guaranteed to be hordes of zombies, and manifestations of these issues should be avoided at all costs:
* Consumerism and capitalism[¹]; unfortunately, without fleeing America or even planet Earth this one is nearly inevitable. Malls are breeding grounds for zombies[2].
* Anything concerning the Vietnam War of the 1960s[3].
* Racism[3].
* Slavery[4].
* Violence, especially against those intuitively weaker than yourself[11].
* Post-9/11 paranoia and racism; steer clear of Ground Zero[1].
